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Words of Wisdom 35: Leadership

One crucial key to becoming an exceptional leader is to make sure your people are inspired more by the mission than your individual greatness.




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Inside the Mind of Celeste Francine Jackson

“Tolerance leads to cooperation; cooperation leads to unity, and unity leads to progress.”

–Celeste F. Jackson

A couple of years ago I was having a great time conducting a seminar on personalities and thinking styles. During this interactive seminar I used a few of the students as examples. Out of those students, one young lady in particular stood out and the end of the seminar we started talking.

In order to find out if I was really on my game, she challenged me to identify her thinking style. (That’s what I love about Millenials—they are open to new ideas and very skeptical at the same time so you better be on point when dealing with them.)

She gave me a big smile to signal her approval as I identified the correct thinking quadrant for her and then she told me her name: Celeste Jackson.

An outstanding student with an insatiable desire for knowledge and a strong sense of altruism, Celeste has an inspiring story that could never be captured on her impressive resume. Losing both of ones parents is something that would completely derail many people. But in spite of experiencing extreme personal tragedy at such an early age, she continues to excel.

She attends Duke University. She serves on Duke’s board for the Center for Race Relations and is in the school’s marching band. Celeste has been volunteering with America Reads and she recently participated in humanitarian endeavors over the summer in Uganda as a part of the DukeEngage program.

As part of DukeEngage she tutored primary school students in English and she worked in an HIV/AIDS clinic. There is no doubt that Celeste is a strong example of the power of resilience, determination, and the willingness to serve.

But don’t take my word for it, find out for yourself as you take a stroll inside the mind of Celeste Francine Jackson.

Note: This interview took place Feb. ‘08


IF AT FIRST YOU DON’T SUCCEED…

Explain to me how you ended up at Duke because when I originally looked at your resume it said you were attending Ursinus College [one of the top 50 liberal arts colleges in the U.S.].

When I initially applied to Duke I didn’t get in. But I did get into the University of Virginia. When I went to visit I didn’t like all that much and I didn’t get a lot of financial aid. Since I was from out of state—I’m from Pennsylvania—it ended up being like $40,000 per year. It wasn’t worth that much money to invest into something I didn’t love.

So, I went to Ursinus College where I got a Towers Scholarship which is an academic scholarship for the four years I would’ve been there which covered more than half of the tuition. But it was stepping stone in the process. I re-applied to Duke and got accepted the second time around. And I got a good financial aid package from them so, it worked out really well.

And you’re headed to London next year—The London School of Economics?

Yes. I just got in recently so, I’m very excited about that.

Congratulations! Are you going into economics?

Actually, I’ll be studying government. I want to be a politician. I want to get into the whole Washington, D.C. scene.

You can really learn a lot from people if

you take the time to understand
their diversity.

THE POWER OF DIVERSITY

Why is diversity so important for success in today’s world and how can we do a better job of helping people to embrace it?

I think diversity is so important because we’re in a diverse society and there’s no way to get around it. You can try to live in a bubble, but the people that you’re doing business with—the people that you’re seeing and interacting with on a daily basis are diverse. Everybody has different things to offer.

You can really learn a lot from people if you take the time to understand their diversity because as Americans most of us are immigrants or were brought here by force or we came here to escape some personal or national conflict. And with these differences comes so many points on which we can learn from each other.

People say—and I agree with them—that we are living in a hegemonic system with the United States being at the top. But it’s slowly beginning to change. So, you’re going to see in the next 25 years that countries like China are going to come and begin to be more dominant and as Americans we’re going to have to be able to embrace that. We’ve got to be able to work with people who come from different cultures.


TOLERANCE IS THE KEY

We need to be tolerant. Tolerance doesn’t mean that we have to totally accept, tolerance means that we can respect someone or something that’s different from what we are or different from what we believe. Tolerance leads to cooperation; cooperation leads to unity and unity leads to progress.

In order to make change happen you have to be able to unite people. You have to have people who are willing to work with you. You have to unite them behind a cause and then you can begin working for the betterment of people. But if you don’t have tolerance, people aren’t going to work together and we won’t be able to progress as a country or a community.

Even now, we see that the African-American and Latino communities are fighting it out and having problems in California and here in Durham, North Carolina because people aren’t focusing enough on trying to find that common ground. They don’t necessarily have to like each other but find that common ground and tolerate each other.

The problem isn’t the two cultures; the problem is the environment in which they are living. You have people fighting for scarce resources instead of working together. In a broader sense, if we [the U.S.] cannot work with other countries we are going to have a lot problems keeping our standard of living.

I don’t see education as an obligation.
I see it as a privilege.

CONFUSED ABOUT KNOWLEDGE

I know that you have pretty much been an academic all-star throughout your scholastic career. What are some things that students can do to become better academically?

I think the biggest problem is the way in which we think about education. Understanding the way in which we think about education is fundamental to how each individual will progress academically.

For instance, some students feel like education is an obligation they have to fulfill rather than having a real desire for the acquisition of knowledge. Many students are confused. They don’t know what they want to do so they just follow suit. Their parents tell them, “go to college because you have to” or “finish this because you have to” rather than the students wanting to.

The problem with thinking this way is that you’re going to do the bare minimum to get by. You’re never going to expand your academic drive and I would argue that you will never realize your full potential.

I don’t see education as an obligation. I see it as a privilege. I would say that this has been one of my motivations in life. I am privileged to have the opportunity to come to Duke to acquire knowledge and to understand life from many different perspectives. This privilege, this opportunity has given me the pathway to greater things.

If we can get students to change the way in which they think about education then they can change the way they approach academics.

The biggest questions that I’ve had about

life have been answered by
understanding and
learning from the
people I’m
helping.

BORN TO GIVE BACK

I believe that regardless of your career and passion, giving back should be a part of it. What makes community service and volunteerism so important?

I’ve been doing it since I was a little girl. My mom was a social worker. She worked in Trenton, New Jersey which is a pretty rough area. And there’s always a lot of improvement needed. My dad was a psychologist in New York. He worked for the Children’s Village. So, with my mother and my father we were always out there helping people. We were always doing something.

When I went out with them it made me realize how fortunate I was to have to parents who loved me and to be able to go to a school that I really loved. There are just so many opportunities that I have been given and because I’ve had so much I have so much more to share; so much more to give back.

Even if you don’t have a lot you will be surprised that the little you have is a lot more than someone else has and somebody is really going to appreciate it. I think that the biggest questions that I’ve had about life have been answered by understanding and learning from the people I’m helping.

Everybody has a story to tell and those stories are valuable lessons because you can learn from other people’s mistakes. You can learn from other people’s greatness. You can understand everything about life by understanding people and working with them.

I don’t just volunteer because I think it’s something that I have to do. This is something that is very much a part of who I am. I’ve been given so much in life. I’ve had people who helped me so much that it’s the only thing I can think of. I have to give back. I always ask myself, “What more could I do?”

I don’t feel whole if I’m not out there trying to help someone out because if it wasn’t for the help of other people I would not be where I am today. And I always remember that.

I realized that if I don’t make changes
in my life—if I don’t continue to
make goals then I’m
not going to get
anywhere.

WHEN TRAGEDY STRIKES

When many people look at your life they see a high achieving, self-motivated, well-spoken young woman who has traveled the world. Your mom was a social worker and your dad was a psychologist. So, people they think that your world is all honky-dory and they don’t realize the challenges you’ve dealt with. Tell me about a challenging experience.

My dad died when I was nine years old. I have three other sisters so there are four of us. At the time one was in college, one was in middle school, and I and my younger sister were in elementary school.

So, it was very difficult for my mom because she had to get two jobs and she worked all the time. She couldn’t spend too much time with us. First, we went to an after school program and then, when we were in middle school, we would just walk home. We learned to be independent very quickly. And we learned that if we had to rely on someone it would have to be ourselves. Our mother couldn’t do it all.

I remember I wanted to leave my school and go to prep school and I talked to my mom about it. She couldn’t afford it. She had four children and there were no favorites in the family. I couldn’t go to that school if my sisters couldn’t go. But once I got accepted into the two schools that I had applied to, my mom got a third job to make it happen for us.

That’s something that I have always appreciated. Watching her work so hard made me work harder because she sacrificed so much for me and my sisters. She’s a social worker and that kind of work is stressful. You don’t get paid as much as you should but, social workers do a lot really important work.

We didn’t get everything we wanted. We got books instead of video games. We weren’t allowed to watch TV all the time. We did go on vacation to Mexico because that was something that my father had loved for us to do and to my mother that was very important.

When I was sixteen my mother got cancer and she passed away as well. That was probably the most difficult thing because my mother and I were very close. She really helped me academically. She was the one who would always say, “It’s okay. If you don’t get the grade you want, it’s okay. You’ll be alright.”

So, then it was kind of like I was on my own. Once my mom died I realized that if I don’t make changes in my life—if I don’t continue to make goals then I’m not going to get anywhere because there’s nobody else out there that can help me at this point.


NEVER ALONE

I went to the Pennington School in Pennington, New Jersey. When my mother died they took buses of students to the funeral. There was a sense of community. I still talk to people that lived there that helped me.

Codington also gave me a lot of financial aid which is also something very interesting because the head master made sure that I was able to stay. He made sure that there was money for me to stay at that school. People like Ms. Rossi, my Hall Parent, came together and really helped me out.

So, I can’t say that all of my successes were accomplished on my own. But I can say that the motivation for those successes came from within—knowing that if I wanted something I could get help but, to actually do it would be on me.


I GOT ALL MY SISTERS AND ME

Growing up my parents always told me that your best friends are your sisters. That has been so true. We argued about small things like what to do and where to go next after my mom died but my sisters have really come through for me. My sisters and I have become very close.

If you always motivate yourself
towards something then the
world is your oyster.

SO MUCH MORE TO LEARN

Before I let you go, sum up your philosophy about success in 1-3 sentences.

Well, here are two of my favorite quotes. The first one is by Descartes:

“I would also like it to be known that the little that I have learned up until now is almost nothing in comparison to what I do not know and what I have not given up the hope of coming to know.”

I feel like I embody that quote 100%. It’s saying that there is so much that you can learn, there is so much out there that you don’t know. If you always motivate yourself towards something then the world is your oyster.

The second quote is by Bo Jackson—the athlete, “Set your goals high and don’t stop ‘til you get there. “

You always want be optimistic—realistic, but optimistic. The process of going through the journey is what counts.

Well, I don’t where your journey will take you but if it’s running for public office you’ve got my vote! Thanks for giving us a few minutes of your time.

Thank you very much. I enjoyed it. I would also, like to thank the Verrico’s. We’ve been living with them for about three years.

______________________________________

Hey! Would you like to be featured in Elevate U and possibly on the homepage of The Black Collegian Magazine?

I'm looking for successful student leaders, athletes, artists, and entrepreneurs to interview for a segment of Elevate U called Inside the Mind. If you are interested then email your BRIEF bio, resume, and photo to Al The Inspiration Duncan


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Words of Wisdom 23: Productivity

People always ask me a question: "Al, where do you find the time?"

They want to know how I am able to have over 100 speaking engagements per year, write dozens of articles, maintain two blogs and two websites, run two businesses (currently starting a third), serve on two boards, chair a steering committee, volunteer for over hundred hours per year, mentor students one on one, and make time for my family. The answer is simple: I don't try to find time; I make time. For example:

• By spending 1 less hour per day surfing the web or watching TV, you will have an extra 28-31hrs. every month to work on achieving your goals. That's 336-372 hours per year!
  

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Words of Wisdom 21: Failure

No matter what happens or what mistakes you make--be it a bad grade, a bad interview, a bad relationship, bad credit, or just plain old bad decisions--always remember...

“Failure is only permanent if you quit.”

-Al “The Inspiration” Duncan

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Words of Wisdom 27: Flexibility

• Learn to be more flexible and adaptable under stress and pressure. The more you can be flexible and adapt to the situation the more power you will have in the situation. According to the Harvard Business School adaptability rates as one valuable skills a leader can have.
  

"The crocodile lives in the water
and yet he breathes air."

Denkyem – the 'crocodile' represents adaptability

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Words of Wisdom 11: Self-Sabotage

Most of the obstacles people face in life are self-imposed. So remember...

• “You are guaranteed to win once you defeat the enemy within because…It’s ALL mental!” -Al “The Inspiration” Duncan

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With Friends Like These...

"Emotion can be the enemy. If you give in to your emotion, you lose yourself. You must be at one with your emotions because the body always follows the mind." -Bruce Lee

Emotions are the guardians of your well-being. They are your friends and their primary objective is to ensure survival. They are arguably the most powerful force governing our behavior.

There is an old adage, however, that rings true when it comes to emotions. “With friends like these, who needs enemies?”

It is a scientific fact that if left untamed, our basic emotions (anger, joy, disgust, surprise, distress, and fear) would cause you to kill first and ask questions later. Or run first and ask questions later.

On an equally detrimental, but sometimes lighter note, emotions will have you shouting, crying, or jumping to conclusions first and asking questions later. Believe it or not all of this is done in the name of survival.

In the heat of the moment your body initially responds to a psychological attack (i.e. insults) in the same manner it would a physical threat. Think about that.

If emotions are supposed to be our friends, then why do they frequently leave us in a barrel of trouble? The answer is simple.

We are designed for survival, not diplomacy.

The emotional brain, also known as the limbic system, was rolling along for millions and millions of years doing what it does best: keeping us out of harms way. Then along comes the neocortex, the logical brain, to complicate things.

Now a person knows that if he or she can’t do physical harm, an insulting remark will often do the trick. Although it’s not a physical attack, your emotional brain still recognizes the bad intentions and responds accordingly.

If you aren’t careful, all of a sudden your friends could become your enemies. It takes 3-5 seconds for the chemicals that produce emotions to flood your system producing what is often referred to as an emotional hijacking.

In a life and death situation that calls for immediate action and there is little time for thinking, an emotional hijacking might save your life.

But at the office an emotional hijacking might cost you your job. In a negotiation it might cost you the deal. In an argument it might cost you a relationship.

Therefore the age-old advice about counting to ten before you respond has an equal amount of science and common sense behind it. It gives you a chance to use your logical brain.

So when you feel a tidal wave of emotions flooding your system, hit the pause button and access your neocortex. Joshua Freeman, a leading expert on developing Emotional Intelligence, calls it the “six second pause.”

I’ve found that, for me it’s even better to take the four extra seconds and go for the full ten count just to be sure. Because it can be so costly, impulsive behavior is nothing to play with.

When I was growing up my mom used to always say to me, “Al, don’t let your friends get you in trouble.”

Mom, you never told me that you were talking about my emotions.



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Words of Wisdom 22: Goal Getting

There's a BIG difference between goal setting and goal getting. Here's a tip to make sure you're practicing the latter and not only the former.

• Break large goals into small, easily achieved steps. This will create a pattern of success and provide you with you milestones to celebrate.

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Top Ten Quotes: Maya Angelou

(In honor of Women’s History Month)

A legendary poet, one of the great voices of contemporary literature, civil rights activist, author of twelve best-selling books including I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, actress, playwright, producer, director, historian, educator, outstanding orator, and Grammy Award winner, Dr. Maya Angelou is the quintessential Renaissance woman.

The recipient of more than 60 honorary doctorate degrees, Dr. Angelou has captivated and inspired millions of people across the globe. There is no doubt that world could never get enough of Dr. Maya Angelou.

Here are my favorite quotes by this extraordinary woman.

10. A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song.

9. I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it.

8. I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

7. You can only become truly accomplished at something you love. Don't make money your goal. Instead, pursue the things you love doing, and then do them so well that people can't take their eyes off you.

6. If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love. Don't be surly at home, then go out in the street and start grinning 'Good morning' at total strangers.

5. There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you.

4. Prejudice is a burden that confuses the past, threatens the future and renders the present inaccessible.

3. Nothing will work unless you do.

2. If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.

1. You may write me down in history

With your bitter, twisted lies,

You may trod me in the very dirt

But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Honorable mention:

History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.

We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.

One isn't necessarily born with courage, but one is born with potential. Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency. We can't be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest.

Achievement brings its own anticlimax.

Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives.

Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage you can't practice any other virtue consistently.

I believe the most important single thing, beyond discipline and creativity, is daring to dare.

Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at it destination full of hope.

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Women's History Month: March 2007

Top Ten Quotes: Mother Teresa

(In honor of Women’s History Month)

Nobel Peace Prize winner and world renowned humanitarian, Mother Teresa was one of the most outstanding examples of altruism and servant leadership in the history of the human race. She provided the world with a treasure trove of wisdom. Here are my ten favorite gems from Mother Teresa.

10. Everybody today seems to be in such a terrible rush, anxious for greater developments and greater riches and so on, so that children have very little time for their parents, parents have very little time for each other, and in the home begins the disruption of peace of the world.

9. The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.

8. Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.

7. Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.

6. I do not pray for success, I ask for faithfulness.

5. Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person.

4. One of the greatest diseases is to be nobody to anybody.

3. If I look at the mass, I will never act. If I look at the one, I will.

2. I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much.

1. We have done so much, for so long, with so little, we are now qualified to do anything with nothing.

Honorable mention:

It is easy to love the people far away. It is not always easy to love those close to us.

I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world.

Good works are links that form a chain of love.

If you judge people, you have no time to love them.

Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired.



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Words of Wisdom 90: What's on Your Mind?

Mind your mind. Studies have indicated that negative predictions about an experience are far more likely to come true then positive predictions. Think about that.

The Million Dollar Question: When you say (or think) that something negative is going to happen and it does, did you predict the future or did you create the future?

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A Poverty of Ambition

“Focusing your life solely on making a buck shows a certain poverty of ambition. It asks too little of yourself.”

–Barack Obama, Knox College Commencement Address 2005

Even after hearing the phrase “dream big” 3,297,391 times (or more) over the course of their life, most people still don’t get it.

“Don’t rock the boat.”

“Better safe than sorry.”

“A bird in the hand beats two in the bush.”

These timeless maxims are sage advice. When taken to the extreme, however, they create a certain poverty of ambition.

Of course, something tangible that is actually working or in your “hand”, is better than a wish or pipe dream. But here’s the real question: Are those birds in the bush actually attainable? If you had a rock-solid plan and the wherewithal to execute it, is it possible for you to get those two birds? Is it probable?

“I’m going to get a degree in engineering or accounting.” If you love either of those two great professions then by all means…go for it. But choosing a profession because it’s the proverbial bird in the hand is the epitome of a poverty of ambition.

A choice like that is why too many people wake up sick to their stomachs about going to work. They wake up with a bad case of would’ve-could’ve-should’ve syndrome.

I would’ve been a great writer…

I could’ve started my own company or non-profit organization…

I should’ve never married this guy. He’s not a bird in the hand; he’s a bird brain in the hand!

Could you have the business, the family, and the philanthropy? Yes. People do it all the time, but not enough people. According to the 2007 Just Start™ survey conducted by Intuit, Inc. (NASDAQ: INTU) 72% of Americans aspire to start their own business. That’s almost three out of four people, but how many actually do it?

There are over 300 million people living in the U.S. An estimated 23 million of them are entrepreneurs. That’s around 7%. So, less than one in ten people actually have enough ambition to make it happen. And that’s after years of record breaking entrepreneurial growth.

Whether it’s starting a business (for profit or non-profit), looking for a promotion, or making a living doing something that you REALLY love to do, there seems to be a paucity of calculated risk-takers.

So, what’s fueling this poverty of ambition? This lack of go-getters boils down to complacency and fear of the unknown.

“Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star.”

–W. Clement Stone

COMPLACENCY

Complacency is the ugly side of success. It’s a momentum killer and a dream slayer.

“Why can’t you just be satisfied with what you already have?”

“That’s good enough.”

Garbage.

I’ve got two words for you to live by:

Get better.

Everyday you want to work on getting better—better health, better relationships, better finances, better marketing, being a better servant to a worthwhile cause, and the list goes on. (I guess the 1.6 billion dollars people spend on cosmetic surgery per year is proof that there’s no poverty of ambition when it comes to being better looking!)

Greatness and complacency cannot exist in the same mind.

Think about that. What if Mother Teresa or Gandhi had a poverty of ambition?

What if Cesar Estrada Chavez, Dolores Huerta, Harriet Tubman, or Frederick Douglass had a poverty of ambition?

Scary thought, isn’t it. A poverty of ambition can change the world in ways I don’t even want to imagine. To be complacent is to stop striving and to stop striving is to waste to your most precious gift—life.

“I have learned over the years that once one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.”

–Rosa Parks

FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN

I was stunned.

I looked at the students in disbelief and thought to myself, “They must not know what a CEO is.”

“How many of you all know what the CEO of a company does?”, I asked them.

A lot of them raised their hands and someone yelled, “A CEO is the boss.”

“They are the leaders”, another student added.

My next question was: “Do you all know that sometimes the CEO is also the person who owns—maybe even started—the company?”

There was a wave of nodding heads as a chorus of yeses filled the air.

“Do you all understand that the CEO makes the most money?”

More head nodding and more yeses.

By then I was flabbergasted. These were some of the best students I know—students of the historic Butler Street YMCA’s Multicultural Achievers Program of which I’m am the Steering Committee Chair and the Life Skills Coach. The students were in the middle of a project that involved creating a company. As a part of the project, they were applying and interviewing for positions in the company. Out of a few dozen high school students not one of them had applied to be the CEO.

When I started to investigate why no one wanted to be CEO I got all kinds of answers.

They didn’t know what to expect. (Fear of the unknown.) They didn’t know if it would be too much work for them to handle or if it would be too much responsibility. (Fear of success.)

If anything went wrong they would be the first ones blamed and the first ones fired. (Fear of failure.) They were worried about what might happen. (Fear of success or failure: the unknown.)

They were afraid of the unknown and it was killing their ambition.

Why?

For many people fear of the unknown is a debilitating phenomenon that fuels a poverty of ambition. Here are five questions, however, to help you deal with fear of the unknown:

1. What could happen as a result of doing (whatever the action or decision maybe)?
2. What probably won’t happen as a result of doing ______?
3. What could happen as a result of not doing _______?
4. What probably won’t happen as a result of not doing _______?
5. How will I deal with each of the four answers from those questions?

If you don’t know the answers to those questions then do some more research, get some more guidance or advice, and make the best educated answer you can.(The students couldn’t answer those questions at first, so the Program Director and I asked the CEO of the Butler Street YMCA to come in and talk to them.)

It’s that simple and, at times, that hard. But the unknown and your fear will be minimized—not necessarily gone, but minimized by answering these questions.

Let’s get back to those birds in the bush…

Here’s the interesting thing. None of this means that you have to necessarily let go of the bird in your hand. While you are looking at the two birds in the bush and squeezing that bird in your hand to death, here’s a something to ask yourself.

The Million Dollar Question: Who ever said you couldn’t have all three?

And no…that’s not being greedy. That’s called abundance.

Stop asking too little of yourself.

Lose the poverty of ambition.

Get the know-how, a good plan, and put them to use because you deserve a life of abundance, don’t you? A life overflowing with achievement and fulfillment is waiting for you if you will simply…

Get better.

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A Lesson On Mastering the Lesson

"If there is no struggle, there is no progress." -Frederick Douglass

Do you find that you struggle with the same things over and over again? If so, you haven't mastered the lesson in the struggle.

You probably already know that in life, lessons repeat themselves until you...

Master the lesson.

Shakespeare wrote, "Pain pays the price of each precious thing." And there's an old spiritual that says, "If you cain't bear no crosses, you cain't wear no crown."

Of course you and I know that struggles produce varying amounts of discomfort and that the end result is growth, but that doesn't make it any easier, does it?

Struggle can be an extreme test of your emotional intelligence and your diligence. Struggle can make a person feel helpless and dis-empowered, so the key is to make sure that it's a beneficial struggle.

You might be wondering, "What in the world is a beneficial struggle?'" It's a struggle in which you...

Master the lesson.

In exercise and training there is a principle called the Overload Principle. In a nutshell, it states that- within reason, the body will adapt to the stresses placed upon it. (i.e weight lifting) Because the mind-body is one system, this principle also applies to the mind if you...

Master the lesson.

When I was growing up, the elders didn't call it the Overload Principle. They simply said, "If it doesn't kill ya, it'll make ya stronger!" That phrase should end with- if you...

Master the lesson.

Change, challenge, and adversity produce lessons. Learning each lesson is like mental weight lifting or aerobics for the mind. Mastering the lesson gives you self-confidence and the fortitude necessary for future struggles.

Going through the same old struggles time and time again is frustrating. It diminishes a person's sense of self-efficacy, autonomy, and competence. In other words it makes a person think, "There ain't nothin' I can do about this."

Find the lesson in the struggle and focus on it. The lesson won't necessarily make the struggle any easier, but it will keep the struggle from being pointless and repetitive.

When you master the lesson, you discover the purpose. With purpose comes a sense of direction and an increased sense of self-empowerment.

So, think about the lesson. Learn the lesson.

Master the lesson.

"If there is no struggle, there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet deprecate agitation, are men who want crops without plowing ground. They want rain without thunder and lightening. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters.

This struggle may be a moral one; or it may be both moral and physical; but it must be a struggle. Power concedes nothing without a demand." -Frederick Douglass

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Top Ten Quotes: Frederick Douglass

Today--right in the middle of Black History month where it belongs--is the unofficial, but widely accepted, birthday one of my most influential role models: Frederick Douglass. I’ve read all three of his autobiographies, several biographies, and his complete speeches and writings.

With all of that Freddy D (hey…don’t be offended…that’s how we do it in the Hip-Hop generation) floating around in my head, it’s easy to understand why I’m always quoting him.

Do you quote Frederick Douglass? What’s your favorite Frederick Douglass quote? Here are my top ten.

10. No man can put a chain about the ankle of his fellowman without at last finding the other end fastened about his own neck.

9. He was whipped oftener who was whipped easiest.

8. Man’s greatness consists in his ability to do and the proper application of his power to things needed to be done.

7. Men may not get all they pay [work] for in this world, but they must certainly pay [work] for all they get.

6. I prayed for twenty years but received no answer until I prayed with my legs.

5. Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never has and it never will.

4. If there is no struggle, there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom, and deprecate agitation, are men who want crops without plowing up the ground, they want rain without thunder and lightning.

3. It’s easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.

2. I didn't know I was a slave until I found out I couldn't do the things I wanted.

1. One and God make a majority.

Honorable mention:

A little learning, indeed, may be a dangerous thing, but the want of learning is a calamity to any people.

I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence.

We have to do with the past only as we can make it useful to the present and the future.

A man who would not labor to gain his rights, is a man who would not, if he had them, prize and defend them.

Only as we rise do we encounter opposition.

What are your favorite Frederick Douglass quotes? Please let me know in the comments.

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• Beware of the attitudes of the people you associate with the most because attitudes are contagious. (I know it's common sense but...common sense and what you commonly do are quite often two entirely different things!)
  

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