Words of Wisdom 9: Communication

"Be skilled in speech so that you will succeed. The tongue of a man is his sword and effective speech is stronger than all fighting." -Kheti

According to the National Association of Colleges and Employers the number one skill across the board that employers are looking for is the ability to communicate effectively.


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Top Ten Quotes: Frederick Douglass

Today--right in the middle of Black History month where it belongs--is the unofficial, but widely accepted, birthday one of my most influential role models: Frederick Douglass. I’ve read all three of his autobiographies, several biographies, and his complete speeches and writings.

With all of that Freddy D (hey…don’t be offended…that’s how we do it in the Hip-Hop generation) floating around in my head, it’s easy to understand why I’m always quoting him.

Do you quote Frederick Douglass? What’s your favorite Frederick Douglass quote? Here are my top ten.

10. No man can put a chain about the ankle of his fellowman without at last finding the other end fastened about his own neck.

9. He was whipped oftener who was whipped easiest.

8. Man’s greatness consists in his ability to do and the proper application of his power to things needed to be done.

7. Men may not get all they pay [work] for in this world, but they must certainly pay [work] for all they get.

6. I prayed for twenty years but received no answer until I prayed with my legs.

5. Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never has and it never will.

4. If there is no struggle, there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom, and deprecate agitation, are men who want crops without plowing up the ground, they want rain without thunder and lightning.

3. It’s easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.

2. I didn't know I was a slave until I found out I couldn't do the things I wanted.

1. One and God make a majority.

Honorable mention:

A little learning, indeed, may be a dangerous thing, but the want of learning is a calamity to any people.

I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence.

We have to do with the past only as we can make it useful to the present and the future.

A man who would not labor to gain his rights, is a man who would not, if he had them, prize and defend them.

Only as we rise do we encounter opposition.

What are your favorite Frederick Douglass quotes? Please let me know in the comments.

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Top Ten Quotes: Martin Luther King Jr.

I've spoken at quite a few MLK celebrations this week and I’ve also seen several tributes on TV. So, I’ve heard plenty of people quoting (and misquoting) Dr. King. In fact I would argue that he’s one of the most quoted people in history.

Do you quote Dr. King? What’s your favorite Dr. King quote? Here are my top ten.

10. Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.

9. Peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek, but a means by which we arrive at that goal.

8. Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.

7. Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted.

6. “Whatever your life's work is, do it well. A man should do his job so well that the living, the dead, and the unborn could do it no better.”

5. If a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for, he isn't fit to live.

4. Rarely do we find men who willingly engage in hard, solid thinking. There is an almost universal quest for easy answers and half-baked solutions. Nothing pains some people more than having to think.

3. The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

2. In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

1. Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.

Honorable Mention:

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

The quality, not the longevity, of one's life is what is important.

The time is always right to do what is right.

What are your favorite Dr. King quotes? Please let me know in the comments.

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Public Speaking Tips Pt. 2

continued from part 1

Be Brief

Recently, I was the keynote speaker at a welcome back dinner for the African-American Cultural Center at the University of Connecticut.

I was supposed to deliver a 90 minute talk but the students were so engaged and had me so fired up that before we realized it, an hour and 45 minutes had gone by!

You might be thinking, “Al, an hour and 45 minutes is not brief. That’s a long time.”

Actually, it depends on the context. That’s the interesting thing about time; two hours can seem like ten minutes or ten minutes can seem like two hours.

Have you ever been stuck listening to a lack-luster speaker? Have you ever been trapped in a mind-numbing lecture or boring conversation? Ten minutes of this torture is excruciatingly painful, right?

The point is: brevity is a matter of perception.

As far as the students were concerned, I was brief because they were enjoying themselves and time flew by. No one realized how long it had been until it was over.

If you’re good, there comes a time when the audience has had enough but they still want more. That’s when a master elocutionist takes a seat. You’ve given them enough to respect and remember you; you’ve been considerate enough for them to appreciate and admire you.

If you’re not sure whether or not time is flying by, then it’s probably better to finish early.

Keep in mind that it’s best to apply the Be Brief Philosophy in moderation. If you’re supposed to speak for 30 minutes and you sit down after 5 minutes, that’s not brevity, that’s robbery. (Unless you were boring, then that’s called mercy.)

Closing the show in a magnificent manner is an invaluable skill for any speaker. You have to know when to…

Be Done

I have seen many speakers have the audience wrapped around their little finger only to let things unravel minutes later because they didn’t know how or when to finish.

The close is the most important part of any type of speech. It has to be clear, concise and memorable. It could be a powerful quote or profound thought; a poignant story or a persuasive call to action.

The only thing that should follow your close is silence (from a jury) or applause (from an audience).

There are peak moments in every speech and you should close on one of them. Have you ever been in a conversation and suddenly realized that it was time for it to end but you weren’t sure how to get out of it?

Once I was delivering a keynote address to 4000 people. After about an hour, I told a thought-provoking, touching story about my father and forgiveness. It would’ve have been a great place close but I just kept yapping away. Eventually I lost them. Although, I was able to rally and end on a good note, I could have ended on a great note.

“Begin with the end in mind.”

Stephen Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

After I finish brainstorming ideas for a seminar or keynote, the first thing I do is come up with my close—a story, quote, thought-provoking question, or call to action.

I make an outline, but I don’t write out word for word what I’m going to say. (It’s perfectly fine to write out your speech. It’s just not my style.) So, when I’m up in front of the room 95% of what’s delivered is extemporaneous.

My opening and closing, however, are well-thought out and rehearsed. If there’s a Q&A session, I conduct it before my close because when my close comes out of my mouth, I’m done. Period.

As I stated earlier, covering this topic could take an entire semester, but adhering to the three B’s will greatly enhance your public speaking skills.

Be good, be brief, and be done!

Recommended Reading:
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Dale Carnegie

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Public Speaking Tips Pt. 1

Q: As a motivational speaker and thought leader, do you have any suggestions or experience that you want to share? I understand that practice makes perfect. Do you have specific tips for improving public speaking?

It could take an entire semester to answer this question. Are you talking about a motivational talk, an attorney’s closing argument, or a political or oratorical type of speech? There are different nuances and tricks of the trade for each. Here’s my advice, however, regardless of the type of speech:

Be good, be brief, and be done!

Be Good

The true sign of a Master is the ability to make everyone in the audience feel like you were talking directly to them.

This is based on relevancy, subject mastery, and eye contact.

RELEVANCY

Initially your audience may not believe or understand that what you have to say is relevant to them. You have to show them the relevancy; help them to understand why and how your topic is relevant.

Provide them with stories or examples that directly relate to them. Be empathetic by showing them that even if you haven’t had the exact same experiences, you have had similar ones.

You the power of relevancy on your side, you will have a stronger hold on the minds and hearts of your audience.

SUBJECT MASTERY

You should know more about your topic than you have time to talk about. For a one-hour keynote I come prepared with three hours of information on my topic. For a half-day seminar I show up with 1½ days worth of material. I want people to know that what they just received from me was the tip of the iceberg.

Also, if you happen to loose your train of thought or completely forget something, it’s easier to recover when you have a ton of information in your arsenal.

The best speakers seldom worry about perfection because they spend more time working on credibility and expertise—the fruits of subject mastery.

The Million-Dollar Question: Which do you think an audience would prefer: a clueless speaker that delivers a perfect speech or an expert speaker that delivers a good speech?

EYE CONTACT

Research shows that around 70% eye contact is optimal during a typical conversation in the U.S. In public speaking that percentage needs to be raised to 95%-100% because the audience is focused on you.

Of course, gawking at people is a no-no. Your goal is to make meaningful eye contact (translation: more than a split-second glance) with as many members of your audience as possible. It’s best to look at an audience member, complete your thought then move on to someone else.

Two final things about being good:

First, take a public speaking class or join a Toastmasters club.

Second, DO NOT tell jokes. Tell humorous stories and use witty phrases. I would rather watch grass grow than be subjected to the torture of listening to a boring speaker.

Unless it’s a eulogy or some other serious or somber speech, the audience wants to laugh. Laughter increases blood flow to the brain and keeps your audience from turning into a room full of zombies.

No matter how good you are, you still need to...

Continued in part 2

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