Continued from part 1“Tell us what it is to be a woman so that we may know what it is to be a man.”-Toni Morrison, Nobel Lecture, 1993
A few days ago, I walked into the Hertz Local Edition at 6121 Memorial Dr. in Stone Mountain, GA to return a car. Immediately, I was greeted with the usual warm smiles and a chorus of “Hi, Mr. Duncan! How are you today?” I get five-star customer service every time, without fail, at that location.
While waiting for her to finish my paperwork, the young lady who was helping me and I started talking about this article. As soon as I mentioned the title and the first quality, the other two women in the store got all excited.
“I know that’s right!”
“Men can definitely learn a thing or two about responsibility from us.”
At this point the store manager, a guy, chimes in: “He said ‘in general’. Women are more responsible in general, but not all women. Right, Mr. Duncan?”
Right.
Everybody has a lapse with at least one issue at some point in time. Anyone who claims otherwise is either lying or that person is a mannequin. He or she isn’t really living, just posing.
Are you always responsible when it comes to your health, eating habits, study habits, or spending habits? Of course not, because a person’s beliefs and desires can cause right action and effective decision making to get lost in the mix. For good women, however, these episodes of irresponsibility are normally sparse.
The process of convincing yourself or others to take on responsibility is simple. The effort required, however, is great. A surplus of diligence is required because a person’s hierarchy of beliefs and desires is fluid, not static. The strangest things can become important to people.
I remember being extremely late to a class because my friend swore up and down that he could beat me in Madden. (In case you don’t know, that’s a video game). I couldn’t let him get away with talkin’ all of that smack, right? Stupid.
My hierarchy of what I believed to be important and what I really wanted in the long run got tangled up in a web of emotions and ego. Guess who came along half-way through the game and convinced me to take my butt to class. It was my girlfriend, a good woman. Case in point.
Fortunately for me, nothing unrectifiable occurred. But how many times have you or somebody you know made an egregious error based on something trivial deemed to be of great importance?
Take a little time to determine your hierarchy of beliefs and desires at the moment of decision.
The following questions will help you distinguish between things that have fleeting importance and things that have lasting importance. As you read through the questions, keep in mind that consciously or unconsciously, good women go through a thought pattern similar to this.
- What’s most important to me right now? In the grand scheme of things, how important is it?
- Is there anything in my life more important than that? Am I being self-centered and selfish?
- How is what I’m doing right going to impact what’s most important to me in the long run? Is that okay? Can I live with that?
- Who else is this going to affect other than me? Is that okay? Can I live with that?
Using these questions will bring more clarity to the consequences of your choices and help to promote an increased sense of responsibility in you. Unless you are just a plain old knucklehead.
Up next: Part 3- Question from a Reader
