I would love to be able to take credit for this witty little piece, but I can’t. Someone forwarded it to me so I'm not sure who the original author is. Enjoy!
1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end with fine.
4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
5. Loud Sigh: This is actually not a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.
8. Whatever: Is a women's way of saying !@#$ YOU!
9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking: ‘What’s wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.
Bonus from Al “The Inspiration” Duncan:
10. I shouldn’t have to tell you: When you hear this you have seriously screwed up something important to her. For the woman’s response refer to #6.
Men -- be warned and avoid the arguments. Women -- laugh 'cause y'all know it's true!
